Who put that sign on my back?

The Bag Lady over at Bag Lady's Blather has tagged me.

Now I have done this particular tag before - name seven random facts about myself - but I'm guessing that the facts were all so boring that none of you can remember and won't realise if I end up repeating myself.

1. Twice during my lifetime, I have managed to stab myself in the foot with a pitchfork! I realise this is something most people manage to avoid completely, but perhaps they live pitchfork-free lives. My life has been full of pitchforks. So, I've stabbed myself once as a child, when I was helping my family gather up long grass we had just cut and once as an adult when I was "mucking-out" a stable in Cornwall. And I totally deny any rumour that suggests I am clumsy!

2. Have ridden a camel in Australia. (Have also ridden racehorses, showponies, cows, and sheep (any before you animal welfare people yell at me - I was very tiny and the sheep was very big.)

3. Have suffered concussion twice - and only once was it caused through the riding of assorted livestock! The other time, I was swinging on a tyre hung from the rafters and fell off and got hit on the noggin.

4. Once swore at a young man so violently that he came out in a nervous rash or something and had to see the doctor! Well, he shouldn't have sat on the arm of my chair and leaned across so that I was physically trapped in the chair while he then proceeded to "chat me up". Motto - never get a rat or a woman cornered!

5. Slept the night in a London loo. (I'm sure I said that one last time - you can tell it was the highlight of my big OE!)

6. I wear glasses for driving. (Stand back! Stand back!)

7. Once transported two sheep in my Mini! We were a sight to behold and yes, it did take a bit of cleaning up afterwards despite all the newspaper I had laid down.

So there you are - far more than you ever wanted to know about me. If anyone wants to play along, grab yourself a tag and run with it.

Spell Checker

Do you ever wonder about the spell checker on your computer?

You know - that function that when you spell a word incorrectly, it makes a stab at it. "Did you mean ...." it politely suggests

I mean who programmes the suggestions that it comes up with.

My old computer always took this responsibility seriously. If I keyed in "prolbem" it would enquire as to whether I really meant "problem". And without a doubt, I did.

But this new computer appears to have a frivolous side. It does not take it's spell checker duties seriously.

I meant to type in "rhamnosus" - it's the name of a bacteria - but my fingers managed to transpose two letters to make this "rhanmosus".

Now, I'm the first to admit that "rhanmosus" is a tricky one to make a suggestion for, but my OLD spell checker would have given it due consideration and asked if perhaps I meant "ransom" or "Ramses". Look, I would have been happy with a stab at "hanuman", the sacred monkey of India, or even "hippopotamus", the not very sacred podge from Africa. Those are honest attempts that I can understand.

(In actual fact my old spell checker knew how to spell this word as well as a zillion other tricky bacterial names and would have simply given me the correct spelling without making such a song and dance about it.)

But no, the NEW computer studied my incorrect spelling of "rhanmosus" and suggested "southwesterly" or if I didn't fancy that I could have "doorhandle"!

So I ask you, who programmes these things?

Is it some strange little man with a twisted sense of humour? I suspect it must be. No one else could come up with such off-target suggestions.

In some dark room at the back of Spell Checker Headquarters, there is a middle aged geek working his way through a secondhand copy of the Latvian to English translation dictionary. And right now he's thinking "today's word is "porridge"" and it really doesn't matter what you type in.

Whatever your word, he's going to very politely suggest, "Did you mean porridge"!